Nor here nor there
Transitional periods are very odd, very powerful times. I forgot about that part of moving to another place. They are a little bit magical, a little bit unnerving. All your relationships get hyper real--like they are in technocolor. It's like a shift in your universe allows for things to happen that wouldn't normally happen. First, you get things done that you've been putting off forver--like cleaning your closets and returning items (I have a going away party planned in just over a week, and I will bring with me a sack of things to give back to people that I've been borrowing for a couple of years--books, CDs, sweaters, etc.).
Then, there are the people around you who suddenly share things with you, that never would have normally. Upon hearing that I was moving to New York and planning a subsequent tour, a very hard nosed guy I work with, who I thought hated my guts, shared with me that he'd been wanting to figure out where he was going in his life. He wanted to go on a "vision quest" in the desert to explore what he was meant to do. I wish him well.
Three long lost friends have contacted me, and people who I consider far flung friends have started to knock on my door. Others have begun disappearing entirely. I could get hurt or mixed up or really excited, but there's too much other crap I am trying to juggle. I have never lived so much in the present as I am right now. If I think too far ahead in the future, I'll hyperventalate. I leave on Saturday for a house hunting trip in New York, but I feel like I am in complete denial. Me on a airplane in 48 hours? Like, I am so sure.
It's weird. I have 3.5 days left of my job. That's 3.5 days left of insurance, income, and most importantly, seeing my boss and friend, Julie daily. This is the kind of thing I just can't take in yet. If I did I would start crying my eyes out. Instead, I eat blueberries and yoghurt, cross items off my list, go to the next item on my list. Maybe I should add to it, "breathe," but how many times can you cross that off?
Then, there are the people around you who suddenly share things with you, that never would have normally. Upon hearing that I was moving to New York and planning a subsequent tour, a very hard nosed guy I work with, who I thought hated my guts, shared with me that he'd been wanting to figure out where he was going in his life. He wanted to go on a "vision quest" in the desert to explore what he was meant to do. I wish him well.
Three long lost friends have contacted me, and people who I consider far flung friends have started to knock on my door. Others have begun disappearing entirely. I could get hurt or mixed up or really excited, but there's too much other crap I am trying to juggle. I have never lived so much in the present as I am right now. If I think too far ahead in the future, I'll hyperventalate. I leave on Saturday for a house hunting trip in New York, but I feel like I am in complete denial. Me on a airplane in 48 hours? Like, I am so sure.
It's weird. I have 3.5 days left of my job. That's 3.5 days left of insurance, income, and most importantly, seeing my boss and friend, Julie daily. This is the kind of thing I just can't take in yet. If I did I would start crying my eyes out. Instead, I eat blueberries and yoghurt, cross items off my list, go to the next item on my list. Maybe I should add to it, "breathe," but how many times can you cross that off?
posted by Summer Pierre at
3:23 PM
1 Comments:
you will prosper, my dear! Email me when you're in NY proper.
Warmest, Felicia
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