Fambly

Summer, Luke, Lily, Jake, & Janae at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, Winter 2003

My dad has complained about how I never mention him in my blog (Hi father!). I say, well, you should, um, maybe CALL MORE OFTEN. Or better yet, COME VISIT. Then many posts will be riddled with juicy morsels about said father. Barring that, I thought I'd share a little tale tale about THAT WING (there are many wings) of my family.

First, some background: My dad has been married to his wife Janae for about eight years and they have two small kids--my brother Luke (age 5) and my sister Lily (age 2.5). This is the part where I mention that THEY ARE AMAZING and FUNNY and I LOVE and MISS THEM. Dad & Janae met and got married while I was living in Boston. Part of the reason I moved back to California was that I wanted a relationship with my brother Luke, who looked at me everytime I came to visit like, "Oh, someone new, how quaint. Too bad I don't go for chicks--NEXT."

One of the hardest parts about reentering my dad & his family's life was that most of Janae's friends didn't know who I was. At every gathering, birthday party, I went through the strange eyeing and then the inevitable, uncomfortable question of, "..and you are...?" When I said I was Jake's daughter, they were shocked and said, "Oh, I didn't REALIZE that Jake had a DAUGHTER." To be frank, it was more than a little depressing and a somewhat exhausting. The final straw came a year and a half later after my sister Lily's first birthday party. My dad said, "You know, Mr. & Mrs. So-and-so thought you were my SISTER."
"Oh, REALLY?" I said, not masking my UTTER DISMAY.
"No, no, it's a GOOD THING." My dad said.
"Yeah, for YOU. You look young enough to have a 30 year old sister, but apparently I look like HELL. I look old enough to be a sister of a FIFTY-SEVEN YEAR OLD MAN." When I complained about this story to someone they pointed out that I was closer in age to my dad than I was to Luke or Lily. I responded very calmly by shouting: Um, NOT HELPING.

For awhile I considered making a children's book for Luke and Lily entitled "Who is That Lady?: a guide for kids and adults." It would map out how once, in a free wheeling time, "DAD" lived in a converted chicken coop in Pescadero, painting psychadelic rock posters and making furniture out of driftwood. His hair was REALLY long (yes he had hair!) and he was called a HIPPIE. Can you say the word HIPPIE? Very good.

It would tell the tale about how life is LONG and there are things that you can never prepare for. One day, you're neighbors with Ken Kesey, another day you're living in the suburbs just south of San Jose. OR in my case, one day you believe your life is made up of this one picture, only to see that it has MORFED AGAIN. And when Luke and Lily look at me, years from now, like oh, THEY KNOW IT ALL, and why doesn't that old sister of ours just GET IT THAT SHE DOESN'T GET IT, I'll say very calmly, "You want to see an example of something TOTALLY UNEXPECTED and LIFE CHANGING? Look in the mirror."