Head Case

Migraines blow. No kidding. The last two months I've been on a roll--at least twice a week. I had a dream the night before last that my head was split into three parts and one of the parts was in a great deal of pain. When I realized that part was in pain, I awoke with a migraine already errupted in the dark, early morning. Usually it gives me some warning so I think I might have a chance to nip it in the bud, but not yesterday. Luckily, it went away by the time I went to bed last night--which my migraines haven't been doing for awhile. Then I wake up this morning and I feel the pressure building for ANOTHER ONE. So I took what I have, which is excedrin and do some yoga stretches to try to draw the blood down from my head. It has put it off, but that was hours ago and now I am feeling it break through the feeble dam I tried to build this morning.

I'm sure it's stress, but it's just so friggn' EXHAUSTING. Also, it doesn't help that I get angry at pharmaceutical companies that have a monopoly on the drugs that DO help. If I had insurance, I could get a discount and STILL have to pay $300 for a 30 day supply of Zomeg. One of the sweetest gifts that the employer-of-the-job-that-got-away gave me while I was working for him was 6 sweet pills of Zomeg. His wife also suffers from migraines, and once he found out about my plight he brought some in for me. It was like having my life back suddenly. Even if I didn't get a migraine, just KNOWING that I had those pills was such a relief. Then when I got a migraine, I knew my day wasn't over. Within an hour, I would be back to normal. Well, due to the last month, I went through them like brushfire.

I cannot express how debilitating migraines can be. THEY ARE NOT HEADACHES. They are filled with the most concentrated pain, accompanied by nausea and exhaustion. It SUCKS. They have taken away COUNTLESS DAYS of my life. I guess it's one of the MANY prices I pay for BEING SENSITIVE (aka ARTISTIC). Oh, how ROMANTIC. Right now, I just want one morning to wake up and not be afraid of one coming on.

Sorry for the sad sack blog entries lately. Sometimes that's just how it goes--I'm in the dark cycle right now, waiting for the light to come. It will, of course. It's just hard to see it, when your head is in a vice and there is no relief.