$12.40 Made, Experience Priceless

I did it! I did it! I did it! If you were waiting for a train at 72nd, you might have seen me strumming and singing my heart out. Maybe you threw a quarter or even a dollar—for that, I salute you!

It felt GREAT! I will admit that Graham came with me for the initial set-up, but left amid the first song. He said later that he hoped I didn’t mind, but he felt he was cramping my style. He said, “When you’re playing the subway, you don’t want your graduate student boyfriend hanging around drinking coffee from Starbucks.” I appreciated him leaving, just because I know I needed to be solo—I just needed help getting down there. At first, all the best case scenarios took place. I was connecting and people were shelling out money. In the first 15 minutes, a man dumped out all his change, went back to his bag and found MORE and dumped it all into my case. The policeman on duty came up to me, and put his hand on my back saying, “We’re going to have to check your guitar at the door next time.” A little unsure of myself (HA! That’s an UNDERSTATEMENT), I asked him why. He said, “Because it’s a Martin—it’s TOO GOOD.” We laughed and he continued on. A teenage girl across the track grinned at me and boogied down, while her boyfriend kind of smirked and hid his head in his hand. You got to love the teenage girls—when they are in their element, embarrassed boyfriends be damned, the world is a place to PARTY.

After awhile, the initial dream-like state wore off. First of all, playing in the subway is hard, but not hard in the way you might expect. It’s hard physically—my arms and wrists are TIRED today, having got a good work out from trying to be heard over the sound of trains and echoing acoustics. Same goes for my voice. Next time, I am bringing a bottle of water or some tea to soothe the stretched to the limit voice. To be honest, I lasted just over an hour. I need to pace myself I think. There were boring lulls of activity. Plus, after the first half hour, the more crowded it got, the less people tipped. I made $12.40—which isn’t exactly rolling in it, but even so, this was a HUGE success.

Here are some more things I didn’t expect: I felt more connected to this city than I ever have. As they say about New York, I want to be apart of it—but sometimes it’s easier sang then done. For a place that house 10 million people, you can feel more alone than connected. Playing in the subway made me feel part of it somehow. I was IN the world, doing something, connecting. I also felt more ALIVE than I have musically in awhile. I took a huge chance—a leap out of my safety zone. I didn’t know how badly I needed that. Also, after fretting so much and feeling out of control with the job and financial thing, I felt a sense of empowerment. I was doing something IMMEDIATE and on my own behalf. I can do anything!

On my way home, I was in the BEST mood. I smiled at other subway musicians and said hello. I think it comes down to this: what are you willing to risk? I hadn’t understood how safe I’d been playing it, until I was faced with doing something I was totally called to do, but resisting out of total fear. You can do it, folks! You can! You can! I feel like the playing field has somehow been leveled. ANYTHING really is possible!