Things I am grateful for

1. Graham here. I woke this morning and said, "I don't want us ever to be apart." and he said, "That's because you hate me." Yesterday morning we drank coffee in bed and I got play him all my favorite Bruce Springsteen songs, and watcg the sunlight cover the rose bush. It wasn't even my birthday, but it felt like the best day ever.

2. It's friday. Tomorrow, plans with friends I don't see often enough. Sunday, plans to see my friend run 26 miles with 2 of her 5 sisters. Later, I will have dinner with my dad and family. I'll get to crack up with my little brother, who said, "The sun is going down because it was tired from sparkling all day."

3. I didn't get hit by a bus this morning. I dropped Graham off downtown, and was so happy, dopey, distracted, that I turned left in front of an oncoming bus and missed it by a thread. Normally I am a really good driver, so it terrified me that I had been so unconscious for a moment. As I drov on I had a mini meltdown that I had almost seriously ruined a day of an entire busload of people and almost killed myself. It still freaks me out.

The Real World

I haven't written in here since I was at first all too excited about blogging. Right now I am taking a quick break, from work because there's too much to do at work to actually leave the building. I housesat last night. For me, hosesitting is like a mini vacation. No housemates and cable TV. I don't own a TV, so giving me several hundred channels is like handing me a dozen doughnuts and saying: HAVE AT IT! These are my thoughts after watching a night of TV:

1. why is Reality TV like crack? It's so bad, but I just can't stop watching it. Seriously. Nanny 911 is addictive as hell. I think Project Runway is Gucci for televsion! Genius! Pure genius!

2. Why do people mill around courthouses when famous trials are going on? What's the draw? What is it to them if Scott Peterson is found guilty? I saw footage of Scott Peterson's mother leaving the courthouse, and people were screaming at her that her son was a monster and that he would rot in hell. It all seemed so biblical or Salem witch trialesque. I don't understand why they would need to do this--the woman's son--sociopath or not--was just found guilty of murdering her daughter-in-law and her grandson. I think it's safe to say that this may be the worst day of her life--why get dark ages about it?

3. I remember the first season of 'The Real World', back when no one knew what reality tv was. I know I am going to sound like the oldest fart in america when I say that the current incarnation of 'The Real World' is so far away from the real world, it leaves me quaking in my pajamas. Who said living in a swank pad with all bills paid, and your only responsability is a cushy volunteer job, was EVER the real world? They should retitle it to '6 People taking a break from the Real World.' Or better, 'Unlikely Ever to Happen in the Real World.'

4. I think 'Sienfeld' is on 24/7, thanks to the range of its syndication. I also think it might have finally happened: I am sick of it.

5. Why can't there be several chances a day to see Oprah?

6. Wait a minute, Bridgete Nielson of Rocky III fame and Flavor Flave of Public Enemy or a couple?? Anything really can happen in TV Land.

7. I think I would buy a box set of Family Ties.

8. Once again, I have come to the conclusion that it's a good thing I don't own a TV, bcause I would be big as a house, get nothing done, and think the world is coming to an end. Also, I wold probably think there was no reason to do anything else. Why leave the couch when the E! true Hollywood story of Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson is coming on in half an hour? Thankfully, I am home to my cable-free room tonight. It's a good thing, because I need to get some shizzle done.

Public Hanging

Dang, there are a lot of good blogs out there. Seriously, some excellent ones. My short-lived, but favorite was Ayelet Waldman's blog, Bad Mother. Waldman, the wife of writer Michael Chabon, is also a published author, a lawyer, a professor at UC Berkely, and a mother of four children. Yes, she is an over achiever! Her blog was hilarious and biting and truthful about mothering, politics, mental illness, and obsessingly loving her husband. She once asked, "Is it possible to stalk someone you live with?"

She left her blog because she started a biweekly series on Salon, which she believed would be covering the same stuff as her blog. So far she has written two pieces. One, predictably about blogging, and confessing your suicidal urges on line, and the ramifications on her children. The other was about hoping her son was gay. Her previous articles at salon, about helping voter turn out for Kerry, and a personal account of late term abortion, already displayed her tendancy to jump in the fire. With the publication of her last two articles you'd think that she had committed the most horrific crimes known to humanity. The outpouring of hate and disgust slung at her is nothing short of staggering. I just visited her blog, which still has the last remaining entry on it. I noticed that the comments section had grown, so I wondered if people had commented since her articles had appeared. Reading the uncensored and hateful comments that people so easily left (anonymously, I might add) I wondered why they cried for her to draw the line when they themselves didn't. As if telling her to never write a single thing again wasn't bad enough, one commenter told her to stick her head in an oven and do us all a favor by offing herself. Another called her evil.

I don't understand the urge to publically humiliate and degrade someone for their work. I could never tell anyone to kill themself--that's about as cruel and irresponsible as it gets. Here's a better solution: Don't read her.

Glad to go, Sad to leave

beginning a blog is a very twenty-first century thing. It's like starting a book, your own book, but where there might be someone reading it. What to say?

I am moving to Brooklyn in four months. I woke this morning feeling shakey and emotional about it. First there's the whole logistical part of it. I've moved across the country 4 times, but every time I've driven across the country with heaps of stuff crammed in my car. If I can help it, I won't be driving. I also have 600 pounds of books.

Then there is the whole emotional part of it. I came back to California 2 and half years ago, after an absence of 7 years. I can safely say that it has been some of the most transformative years of my life. I have made some of the most important friendships I have ever known, many of them with old friends I thought I already knew. The thought of leaving these connections is nothing less than heart wrenching.

I came to work fighting back tears, thinking of all this. Then the phone rang, and it was The Reason I am Moving on the phone, my love Graham. I suddenly felt a lot better. Love is always a good reminder. The truth is, I am really excited about moving to New York. I get to live in an amazing area, filled with art, and artists, and fall colors, and snow, and the love of my life. I guess the difference between the four other times I've moved and this current move, is that I am not running. I am leaving to continue my life, not to start it over. I could easily stay here, but I am choosing to leave, becuase I want to go towards something.

The picture above is me fully tackling the Reason I am Moving. Gosh, wouldn't you want to live with that every day?