Murder, She Wrote

Last night after doing several you-are-feeling-sleepy rituals, which consisted of going for a long, brisk walk, drinking warm milk, taking a hot shower, looking into the mirror and saying "You are getting sleepy" about 100 times, and taking an evil blue sleepy pill, I slipped into bed and managed to sleep for SIX WHOLE HOURS. It would have been seven hours, but I awoke from a nightmare at 2:30 am, and it was hard to get back to sleep. Of course, after all the murder-related media I have been ingesting, it finally creeped into my subconscious and woke me up with a jolt.

This was after trying to make a conscious decision to not be fed any more noir material. After reading more of In Cold Blood, I decided that I didn't want to go see the Hitchcock film, Rope, that was playing at the Film Forum. Usually, I will watch anything that Hitchcock has done, especially on the big screen, but I thought it best that I not see a movie about death or killing anybody. I was jumpy enough. So I went to a GIANT MULTIPLEX in search of a movie that-shall-remain-nameless (because if my boyfriend finds out, he will groan audibly and won't let me hear the end of it). This movie-that-will-remain-nameless seems as harmless as an episode of Scooby-Do, but with better looking people and no mystery. So I was very bummed, when I arrived at the GIANT MULTIPLEX and it was the WRONG GIANT MULTIPLEX. I didn't have time to get to the right one, so I decided to go see Woody Allen's Match Point, starring the gorgeous and breathy Scarlet Johansson. Without giving too much away, it turned out to have a MURDER in it! I had NO IDEA walking in. Dang it all! Of course, looking back, the signs were there--the thing is called "Match Point" for pete's sake, which in movie title language is the same as "Checkmate" or "Gotcha" or "Your ass is grass". All synonymous with SOMEBODY IS GONNA GO DOWN. Also, the poster is a black and white photo, which usually just screams DARK THEMED. But it was Woody Allen, and apart from Crimes and Misdemeanors, death has been handled comically, if at all. Well, this movie--Allen's BEST IN TEN YEARS EASILY--is not a comedy.

So I went home with all this in my head, and I even tried to scrub it out, by watching a few minutes of Woody Allen's Hannah and Her Sisters, which is one of my favorite films of all time. Apparently, it didn't take, because I awoke from a dream where someone was about to be killed. I swear, this time, I am going to watch something harmless. Maybe an Elmo video. Maybe It's a Wonderful Life (even out of season), just so I can go to sleep with HAPPY THOUGHTS. Or maybe I'll try to find the movie-that-shall-remain-nameless, unless "Romantic Comedy" is now targeting an audience of preying mantises, where their idea of romance is to bight off your loved one's head.