The Reality
Well, the weekend could have been a lot better. Actually, Saturday was great. G & took the train up the Hudson River to have dinner with my friends Glenn & Sharon, who have two cute kids, Maya & Ethan. After dinner, in an attempt to calm the sugar pulsing through Maya's veins, Glenn asked if I would play some songs. As I was in mid swing of my second number, Maya pulled up her potty training potty just to my left and proceeded to listen intently while she did her business. I guess she didn't want to miss a lick of my crooning ways. Glenn asked later if that sort of business ever happened at a show, and I assured him that it was an ALL TIME FIRST.
The rest of the weekend was spent surviving a 2-day migraine. It was the first migraine I've had in a while without migraine meds & it totally kicked my ass. I went out for breakfast yesterday, but had to go home & lie down. Then, to cap the whole experience, I ended up calling the police on my neighbors upstairs, who are abusing their kid.
I've made little comments here and there about what Graham and I live with in terms of neighbors. The clearest picture I can give you is that when we sit in our living room, we live below a family of at least 5, with hardwood floors. We hear EVERYTHING. They yell at each other constantly. There is a 4 year old that screams hysterically off and on all day. When I say that he screams hysterically, I don't mean a temper tantrum or even just crying hard. It is a wailing, inconsolable, & shrill cry lasting anywhere from 10-30 minutes, several times a day. When we first heard it, we listened for physical abuse, which didn't seem to be occurring. We also heard him stop suddenly and say things clearly and with the usual four-year-old bratty voice. What we've observed is that this kid can go from 0-60 in a matter of seconds. He can be wailing in one second and then just fine in another. By sheer serendipity, I was listening to NPR, and they played a tape recording of a child who is emotionally disturbed, screaming and crying and it sounded just like the little boy who lives above us.
They've had the cops called on them before--twice. Each time, after the cops left, the mother opened the door and yelled out into the hallway that whoever was calling the cops on them had better watch out, because she was going to kill them. Considering what I hear upstairs--how she speaks to her husband, father, mother, and child, and how they speak to her, I took her word.
After another full weekend of hearing them fight with each other and Graham hearing other exchanges that weren't necessarily fighting, but could be considered emotional abuse, he said to me, "If they are hitting him or not, what is the difference?" I heard the kid screaming his head off, but then adding the words, "Get away from me!" and what do you do? You can't be afraid anymore--you do what you can. Of course, by the time the cops came about 10 minutes later, the kid had stopped screaming. When they opened the front door to the cops, the kid said cheerfully, "Hello!"
We live in an urban and very poor neighborhood. All kinds of life are found there. A lot of what I've experienced is people living unhappily. It can be intense. Last night was no exception. I was afraid of what would happen, but then, nothing did. The cops left and it was more quiet upstairs then I'd ever heard it. Today, I am calling Child Protective Services and filing a report. Even if they are not hitting him, as Graham says, at this point what is the difference? They need help. I hope they get it.
The rest of the weekend was spent surviving a 2-day migraine. It was the first migraine I've had in a while without migraine meds & it totally kicked my ass. I went out for breakfast yesterday, but had to go home & lie down. Then, to cap the whole experience, I ended up calling the police on my neighbors upstairs, who are abusing their kid.
I've made little comments here and there about what Graham and I live with in terms of neighbors. The clearest picture I can give you is that when we sit in our living room, we live below a family of at least 5, with hardwood floors. We hear EVERYTHING. They yell at each other constantly. There is a 4 year old that screams hysterically off and on all day. When I say that he screams hysterically, I don't mean a temper tantrum or even just crying hard. It is a wailing, inconsolable, & shrill cry lasting anywhere from 10-30 minutes, several times a day. When we first heard it, we listened for physical abuse, which didn't seem to be occurring. We also heard him stop suddenly and say things clearly and with the usual four-year-old bratty voice. What we've observed is that this kid can go from 0-60 in a matter of seconds. He can be wailing in one second and then just fine in another. By sheer serendipity, I was listening to NPR, and they played a tape recording of a child who is emotionally disturbed, screaming and crying and it sounded just like the little boy who lives above us.
They've had the cops called on them before--twice. Each time, after the cops left, the mother opened the door and yelled out into the hallway that whoever was calling the cops on them had better watch out, because she was going to kill them. Considering what I hear upstairs--how she speaks to her husband, father, mother, and child, and how they speak to her, I took her word.
After another full weekend of hearing them fight with each other and Graham hearing other exchanges that weren't necessarily fighting, but could be considered emotional abuse, he said to me, "If they are hitting him or not, what is the difference?" I heard the kid screaming his head off, but then adding the words, "Get away from me!" and what do you do? You can't be afraid anymore--you do what you can. Of course, by the time the cops came about 10 minutes later, the kid had stopped screaming. When they opened the front door to the cops, the kid said cheerfully, "Hello!"
We live in an urban and very poor neighborhood. All kinds of life are found there. A lot of what I've experienced is people living unhappily. It can be intense. Last night was no exception. I was afraid of what would happen, but then, nothing did. The cops left and it was more quiet upstairs then I'd ever heard it. Today, I am calling Child Protective Services and filing a report. Even if they are not hitting him, as Graham says, at this point what is the difference? They need help. I hope they get it.
posted by Summer Pierre at
9:45 AM
4 Comments:
if the wake of nixmari (sp?) brown, i definitely agree that if you even remotely suspect abuse, you should def. report it. that poor girl's life could have been spared if people actually reported it and the damn ACS wasn't asleep at the switch.
You're doing the right thing, I believe too. For starters, you have begun the wheels spinning of the "system" and unfortauntely, there is a system. The fact you hear it more than once is a possible sign of something unusual.
When I lived on Bergen St. in Brooklyn, I had a horrible family situaltion next to me - abuse, yelling, throwing cats out windows, they actually poisened the neighbor's dog who had just given birth to puppies. You just reach a point where you follow your gut, like you said, and ACT. It's horribly unsettling to hear yelling and abuse of anykind.
how horrible and upsetting.....jeez.
You definitely did the right thing. The trouble is that these kids probably think that what they are experiencing is "normal" because that's what they grow up with, they don't know anything else. And you know what that means, there is a good chance that they will become abusive adults and parents themselves. So any attempt to break that vicious circle is a worthy one. Let's just hope that CPS take this serious enough to make a difference in a child's life.
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