Enis n' Jack 4 Ever!
I didn't watch the Academy Awards last night. We don't own a TV, and our subway line was down, otheriwuse we might have gone to a bar to watch it. For years I haven't given a rat's ass about the Academy Awards. Usually, I don't care about the movies they have up for the awards, but this year was different. There was Capote, Walk the Line, Good Night & Goodluck, and especially, Brokeback Mountain.
When Graham brought me coffee this morning, he said, "So I got some Oscar news." I waited for the news of the two categories that meant the most to me, Best Actor and Best Picture. He delivered the blow first, "Crash won best picture." Incredibly, I felt like crying, I was so frustrated. It probably was because I was shaved down to the nerve from an anxiety induced insomnia that I had suffered all night, but STILL, I had the HIGHEST hopes that Brokeback would win.
I know that Brokeback Mountain is a probably a wornout subject. It has been filling the headlines for months. 'Brokeback' has been cited as a HOT buzzword. I know the whole drill, the debate, the hullabaloo. I DON'T CARE. Let me tell you this: During our trip to California (otheriwse known as the LOST Christmas), Graham and I went to see Brokeback Mountian. I went in with high expectations, which is always very very dangerous. At first those expectations kept me from emersing in the movie, but then, suddenly, it was the end of the movie, and a near mute man had just given himself and his daughter the gift of allowing himself celebrating her upcoming marriage. He watches her drive off, a grown up girl, at the beginning of her adult life, happy. He turns away from the doorway, opens his closet, and touches two objects that symbolize his life, and what he ultimately holds quietly dear to him. His eyes well up. As he uttered the last two words of the film, I sat wrecked with grief and loss. Graham and I sat, weeping in our seats, emotionally transformed by this beautiful beautiful story.
It affected me so much that it made me, in a sense, innocent. I was so moved, I wanted everyone to experience this film. We went home to Graham's parents who are conservative Christians and prompty tried to sell this movie to them. For about 5 minutes, still swept up in the glow of this movie, I believed that even they could experience it for what it was: a glowing, sweeping love story, that is both tragic and triumphant. Never mind that it was two men. Jenny, Graham's mother, always up for listening, smiled politely as we went on and on about it, and then finally said, "Well, that might be a challenge for us." I saw the door close on that one. You'd think I would have gotten the hint, but I tried it with other family members, all equally conservative in their beliefs. They politely withstood my enthusiasm, but then uttered words like, "Hmm. Interesting." When my cousin's husband listened to me and then said the words "I don't know. I don't think I...YUCK." I finally got the message and I shut the hell up.
The thing that is groundbreaking about Brokeback is that it isn't a 'Gay' film. It isn't even 'political.' It's just a beautiful, moving story. I still believe that if you put any of your judgements or your ideas, you would be greatly moved by it. I remember hearing about it months ago and laughing at the potentially cliche and cheesy components of two cowboys falling in love. It had the potential to go VERY VERY WRONG. By some miracle, it didn't. I think that part of me that became a sort of innocent, caught up in the love that I felt in that movie, held out a glimmer of hope that the world would honor it with the highest PUBLIC honor. Apparently, the public world is like my cousin-in-law. Who said, "Yeah but...yuck."
I have to admit that I haven't seen Crash. Perhaps it is a great movie. It's just that the themes represented in that movie (race issues in L.A., intertwining lives, etc.) have been done A LOT in the last 15-20 years. When was the last time you sat in a movie that transformed your beliefs, your idea on how the world is seen? When was the last time you saw something utterly original? Ang Lee, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Heath Ledger have done this world a service by for once CONTRIBUTING to the world, instead of just filling it. I feel lucky that my heart has been so opened by this picture, and that it remains so open. Call me liberal, call me what you like, I am more interested in what truly has meaning in this world. As far as I am concerned, labels do not have much meaning, but art, spirit, and love do.
When Graham brought me coffee this morning, he said, "So I got some Oscar news." I waited for the news of the two categories that meant the most to me, Best Actor and Best Picture. He delivered the blow first, "Crash won best picture." Incredibly, I felt like crying, I was so frustrated. It probably was because I was shaved down to the nerve from an anxiety induced insomnia that I had suffered all night, but STILL, I had the HIGHEST hopes that Brokeback would win.
I know that Brokeback Mountain is a probably a wornout subject. It has been filling the headlines for months. 'Brokeback' has been cited as a HOT buzzword. I know the whole drill, the debate, the hullabaloo. I DON'T CARE. Let me tell you this: During our trip to California (otheriwse known as the LOST Christmas), Graham and I went to see Brokeback Mountian. I went in with high expectations, which is always very very dangerous. At first those expectations kept me from emersing in the movie, but then, suddenly, it was the end of the movie, and a near mute man had just given himself and his daughter the gift of allowing himself celebrating her upcoming marriage. He watches her drive off, a grown up girl, at the beginning of her adult life, happy. He turns away from the doorway, opens his closet, and touches two objects that symbolize his life, and what he ultimately holds quietly dear to him. His eyes well up. As he uttered the last two words of the film, I sat wrecked with grief and loss. Graham and I sat, weeping in our seats, emotionally transformed by this beautiful beautiful story.
It affected me so much that it made me, in a sense, innocent. I was so moved, I wanted everyone to experience this film. We went home to Graham's parents who are conservative Christians and prompty tried to sell this movie to them. For about 5 minutes, still swept up in the glow of this movie, I believed that even they could experience it for what it was: a glowing, sweeping love story, that is both tragic and triumphant. Never mind that it was two men. Jenny, Graham's mother, always up for listening, smiled politely as we went on and on about it, and then finally said, "Well, that might be a challenge for us." I saw the door close on that one. You'd think I would have gotten the hint, but I tried it with other family members, all equally conservative in their beliefs. They politely withstood my enthusiasm, but then uttered words like, "Hmm. Interesting." When my cousin's husband listened to me and then said the words "I don't know. I don't think I...YUCK." I finally got the message and I shut the hell up.
The thing that is groundbreaking about Brokeback is that it isn't a 'Gay' film. It isn't even 'political.' It's just a beautiful, moving story. I still believe that if you put any of your judgements or your ideas, you would be greatly moved by it. I remember hearing about it months ago and laughing at the potentially cliche and cheesy components of two cowboys falling in love. It had the potential to go VERY VERY WRONG. By some miracle, it didn't. I think that part of me that became a sort of innocent, caught up in the love that I felt in that movie, held out a glimmer of hope that the world would honor it with the highest PUBLIC honor. Apparently, the public world is like my cousin-in-law. Who said, "Yeah but...yuck."
I have to admit that I haven't seen Crash. Perhaps it is a great movie. It's just that the themes represented in that movie (race issues in L.A., intertwining lives, etc.) have been done A LOT in the last 15-20 years. When was the last time you sat in a movie that transformed your beliefs, your idea on how the world is seen? When was the last time you saw something utterly original? Ang Lee, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Heath Ledger have done this world a service by for once CONTRIBUTING to the world, instead of just filling it. I feel lucky that my heart has been so opened by this picture, and that it remains so open. Call me liberal, call me what you like, I am more interested in what truly has meaning in this world. As far as I am concerned, labels do not have much meaning, but art, spirit, and love do.
posted by Summer Pierre at
10:14 AM
3 Comments:
You liberal! (quite the insult huh?)
PS: I don't think I've ever commented, but I love your blog.
Maybe if you see "Crash" you'll understand why a counselor at the school where I work said she wished it was required viewing...for everyone. Everyone has their favorites and it can feel heartbreaking when the one that resounded so loudly inside of you doesn't win. The S.F. Chronicle had a big front-page analysis yesterday about WHY "Brokeback" didn't win Best Picture. I find it kind of odd that they're sort of missing the obvious..."Crash" was a very deep and deeply moving film, too.
After a girls night at Heidi's house (actually, Wylee and Heidi's house) I was convinced into reading your blog. Denise and Amy are big Summer blog readers. You definitly have a fan base. :)
Anyway, to the point.
Thank you so much for expressing exactly how I felt after watching this movie. It does touch a deep nerve that is hardly felt anymore when watching a movie. I was in shock the whole time, I think. I don't even think I took a breath the entire movie, except when a cry would escape. Ouch.. it still hurts to think about it. I'm in love with love, especially after seeing this movie. I almost feel like a protester... standing on the sidelines with my white sign, yelling to others "watch this movie!"
But of course I don't really... it rains too much here, my sign would smear.
And, to be fair, Crash was a good movie. I'm actually "O.K." with the fact it won. Of course Brokeback Mountain was my first choice by a long shot.
And I'm completely estatic that Reese Witherspoon won best actress for Walk The Line. What a great movie that was, as well! I can't get the songs out of my head.
-Amanda (Santa Cruz)
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