To Hold You and Try
With all this travel talk I neglected to fill in any details about THE SONG I played at Andromeda and Rob's wedding (a.k.a. The Love Fest of May 2006). About two months ago when Andromeda called me to share the joyful news of her upcoming nuptials, she asked if I might play a song during the ceremony. This was not only totally an honor, but an exciting challenge: just what ENTICING MELODY could I pull off in order to kick start THE REST OF THEIR LIVES?
The possibilities were endless! I thought about exciting covers. Knowing that Andromeda's favorite song of all time is Dee-Lite's "Groove Is In the Heart," I thought for about 10 seconds about attempting an acoustic version of this song. Turns out, 10 seconds is enough to ponder all the sampling and the electronic delovely and delicious sounds that song has to offer, and how two months was just NOT ENOUGH TIME for a rocking folkster like me to assemble something into anything LISTENABLE. I know this is going to shock many of you, but I am not that GOOD at covers. In fact, I kind of BLOW at it. Most people who pick up guitars, seem to start by playing other people's songs, and so they learn early the nuances and rhythms of other people's compositions. I did not do this. I think I got half way through "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and thought, THIS IS BORING ALL GET OUT and set to writing my own songs. I, in fact, taught myself to play guitar by writing a new song for every new chord I needed to learn. This is so me. Now I feel trapped in my own limitations and most the time think of myself as a HALF ASSED musician, who can't tell you for the life of me what KEY anything is in, much less do an inspired version of ANYONE ELSE'S SONGS.
So after pondering the idea of covers for 10 seconds, I decided to write them a song. To my total amazement this came VERY EASILY. To those of you in the know, I've been struggling with songwriter's (ahem) ISSUES for awhile. I haven't been able to finish songs very often. The song I wrote was a little upbeat ditty about how love takes an already good life and makes it GREAT. A fine sentiment. A sweet sentiment. Yet, it BUGGED ME. The song was fine, but it just didn't feel right. I began to freak out a little. I paced after playing it. I left panicked messages with Andromeda for guidance. She assured me that it sounded like a good song. I tried to convince myself that it would do.
Then a couple of weeks ago, I was playing guitar in the kitchen, and a little melody came to me, and something in me just knew: this is the song I am supposed to be playing for them.
The original song was about how love makes life great, and that was fine--it was about what brought them to this moment, but I felt strongly that it didn't speak to what they were ENDEAVORING TO DO, which in some ways, is BIGGER than what love can provide. Marriage seems to me a HUGE leap of faith. Years ago, a boyfriend of mine once told me that when you get married you only THINK you're promising to be with each other forever, but in fact you're promising to TRY to be together forever. That has stuck with me all these years, and I thought of this as I wrote about both what it feels like to be in love, AND how sometimes things fall apart, but you show up and TRY anyway. Sometimes that is the most powerful thing you can do. It seemed to me that they were committing to show up and try with each other, and the family they were starting. So the song I wrote, called "To Hold You and Try," spoke to that commitment and it felt very real. I am often uncomfortable with love songs, because they often don't speak to the realities of life, which are beautiful, mysterious, funny, hard, exciting, disappointing, etc. etc.. As I get older, I have shocked myself by writing love songs, and I hoped that this one would carry something for them about love, about life, about how things can be wonderful, and things can be hard--but you promise each other to hold each other and try anyway.
I think they liked it--actually I know they did. I like it too and feel so blessed to have been able to give them something that came from a place of experience and love. A good combo, I think.
The possibilities were endless! I thought about exciting covers. Knowing that Andromeda's favorite song of all time is Dee-Lite's "Groove Is In the Heart," I thought for about 10 seconds about attempting an acoustic version of this song. Turns out, 10 seconds is enough to ponder all the sampling and the electronic delovely and delicious sounds that song has to offer, and how two months was just NOT ENOUGH TIME for a rocking folkster like me to assemble something into anything LISTENABLE. I know this is going to shock many of you, but I am not that GOOD at covers. In fact, I kind of BLOW at it. Most people who pick up guitars, seem to start by playing other people's songs, and so they learn early the nuances and rhythms of other people's compositions. I did not do this. I think I got half way through "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and thought, THIS IS BORING ALL GET OUT and set to writing my own songs. I, in fact, taught myself to play guitar by writing a new song for every new chord I needed to learn. This is so me. Now I feel trapped in my own limitations and most the time think of myself as a HALF ASSED musician, who can't tell you for the life of me what KEY anything is in, much less do an inspired version of ANYONE ELSE'S SONGS.
So after pondering the idea of covers for 10 seconds, I decided to write them a song. To my total amazement this came VERY EASILY. To those of you in the know, I've been struggling with songwriter's (ahem) ISSUES for awhile. I haven't been able to finish songs very often. The song I wrote was a little upbeat ditty about how love takes an already good life and makes it GREAT. A fine sentiment. A sweet sentiment. Yet, it BUGGED ME. The song was fine, but it just didn't feel right. I began to freak out a little. I paced after playing it. I left panicked messages with Andromeda for guidance. She assured me that it sounded like a good song. I tried to convince myself that it would do.
Then a couple of weeks ago, I was playing guitar in the kitchen, and a little melody came to me, and something in me just knew: this is the song I am supposed to be playing for them.
The original song was about how love makes life great, and that was fine--it was about what brought them to this moment, but I felt strongly that it didn't speak to what they were ENDEAVORING TO DO, which in some ways, is BIGGER than what love can provide. Marriage seems to me a HUGE leap of faith. Years ago, a boyfriend of mine once told me that when you get married you only THINK you're promising to be with each other forever, but in fact you're promising to TRY to be together forever. That has stuck with me all these years, and I thought of this as I wrote about both what it feels like to be in love, AND how sometimes things fall apart, but you show up and TRY anyway. Sometimes that is the most powerful thing you can do. It seemed to me that they were committing to show up and try with each other, and the family they were starting. So the song I wrote, called "To Hold You and Try," spoke to that commitment and it felt very real. I am often uncomfortable with love songs, because they often don't speak to the realities of life, which are beautiful, mysterious, funny, hard, exciting, disappointing, etc. etc.. As I get older, I have shocked myself by writing love songs, and I hoped that this one would carry something for them about love, about life, about how things can be wonderful, and things can be hard--but you promise each other to hold each other and try anyway.
I think they liked it--actually I know they did. I like it too and feel so blessed to have been able to give them something that came from a place of experience and love. A good combo, I think.
posted by Summer Pierre at
10:13 AM
1 Comments:
What you were saying about the truth of marriage- that moment- that leap-
I feel, definitely as a married person myself- SPOT ON!
And I think it is a much more beautiful and powerful statement infact- than: yes to forever.
SO- beautiful.
And the song.
It would be wonderful if you would be willing to share the lyrics.
It sounds A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!
And what a fabulous lifelong gift, to give your friend.
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