Building a Fort

It hit me yesterday that in five days I will be spending the week in the same room with my HERO Lynda Barry. I'm off to take a writing class at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY. There are a number of things to be excited about. Some of the reasons being that I'll be in a more natural setting once again, with yummy food, yoga classes, a lake to swim in with a new swimsuit. While in Canada, I braved THE MALL in Nanaimo for my first swimsuit in 6 years. Apparently, my love of water outweighed my HATRED of malls and shopping and my SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES when it comes to swimsuits. It worked. I found a carmine tankini (thank GOD for tankinis!) for only 15$! I'm hoping that the lake advertised at Omega is REAL and not some scummy kiddie pool from 1978.

Then there is, of course, the fact that not only will I get to meet Lynda Barry, but I'll get to be taught by her, and learn from her, and get to WRITE for FIVE WHOLE DAYS STRAIGHT. This is EXCITING. I've never taken an artist's retreat of sorts. I haven't even taken a writing class in SIXTEEN YEARS. I am looking forward to committing totally to one of my art forms for a selection of days. At home, and in regaular life, there is always SOMETHING ELSE TO DO. I seem to do art and creativity in fits and fistfulls. I love that I will be in an evironment that is reserved for doing NOTHING BUT nourishing this one part of me. I feel like I've built a fort around this one wish, and now I am making a packing list, checking it twice, to retreat into the blankets and books and lamplight. It's totally unknown and FANTASTIC.

One thing I'm worried about is piling too much expectations on making an impression or CONNECTING (a.k.a. WINNING THE AFFECTIONS OF) Lynda Barry. I said this to Graham the other night and he said, "You've got to remember that it's a particular kind of relationship. It's limited." It brought me down to earth a little. It reminded me that I'm not there to just bask in the glow of this great woman, but to (ahem) WRITE. There will be work to be done! There will be things to learn and experience! There will be a dream to live and that's the real point. Of course, if Lynda Barry becomes my new best friend forever, w-e-l-l I guess that would be just GRAVY. Of course, if I make any friends after the fellow Omega students see me in my new tankini, it will be a GOSH DARN MIRACLE.