The Last Day

This morning I went to the subway and waited and only to find out that my entire line had been shut down, due to "police investigation" at Bedford Avenue. I went home and called into work. They said, "Hey, it's your last day--do you want to come in?" The bank account in me said,"Yes, I do." So they SENT A CAR to come get me. "It's your last day, after all." they said on the phone. Graham and I rode from Bushwick, Brooklyn, to Midtown, Manahttan. I saw the UN for the first time, and pointed out to Graham where Cary Grant walked up the steps in North By Northwest.

Do you ever notice how everything has some significance on your last day anywhere? I had my last bowl fo free cereal this morning in the staff dining room. I'm staring out at view from my temporary office for the last time. I'm typing in names on the screen, I may not again. I'm listening to This American Life, while typing these names, and sitting in this office. For the last time. Things have a sudden sense of context and framework. The picture is almost complete.

Of course, I'm a hopeless nostalgic.

I've noticed this when you get ready to move or do anything sort of life changing. Suddenly you enter this hyper real universe, where the cells of things are rapidly changing to make room for the new cells. Although this isn't a job I've had forever, or thought even I would have forever, it's my most significant station yet in New York. I was floating and aimless, and this job gave me a daily dose of normalcy. I'll miss it for that. I've also met some great people here. I met Mindy here, who I admitted, with my hands nearly covering my face from vulnerability, that she is my "New York Best friend." Which is another way of saying, you are dearly important to me. She said that I was the same for her. Then we hugged and drank down rootbear floats.

You just NEVER KNOW when you enter a door on THE FIRST DAY, what your life will be like on THE LAST DAY. And Monday will be another first day, and I'm a little nervous, but just writing this down, it makes me see that I've had hundreds of first days and last days and the beginning is always vague and the end is always very clear. It's like when we're babies and the world is blurry, but as we grow up and live and continue, the world is clearer.

I'll be posting when I can. See you soon, I hope!