I Played The Christmas Party and All I Got Was this Lousy T-Shirt

After more than a year of temping for a company, I got asked to be the entertainment for their Holiday Party EXTRAVAGANZA.

Why are Holiday parties SO LOADED? Seriously. I asked various people the innocent question of, "So, you coming to the Holiday party?" Which was another way of asking, "So, you coming to my gig on Thursday night?" and nearly all the responses were an essay on the pros and cons of going, or in some cases, just the cons. It was never just a "Yep! See you there!" or a "Nope! Gotta run!" It was a very complicated affair, with histories and strong opinions and editorials and speeches best made on the peaks of mountains. Staff members were very CONFLICTED indeed. Yet, as I listened, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if they suddenly announced that this year they had decided to go without, there would have been RIOTING in the HALLWAYS.

I remember the last company I worked at in California, very similar feelings erupted around the Holiday Party, which was held at the Coconut Grove, the CHARO of event spaces. It was one of those events, where most of us felt that we DESERVED A FREE MEAL, but the rest of the ceremony was considered at best a theater production to be dissected and ridiculed later. The awards part of the evening was filled with bitter controversies and editorials, that were so fuming and filled with acrid insights, they could be used to remove paint. Something dramatic and emberasing always happened after hours in the bar across the street, which was also a kareoke bar, connected to a bowling alley. They served margaritas with BLUE SALT. Yet, it was OURS. Nobody missed it. Nobody was going to skip out on dancing to "We Are Family" or "Oh What a Night". Nobody was going to miss going to something as close to a prom as a shabby distribution company could get.

This is what I was expecting last night, as I walked in to the Roosevelt Hotel, in my new dress, with roses in my hair. I thought, this is an office party, but don't we ALL DESERVE all little food and drink, in nice clothes? HELL YES. I was surprised by how STIFF it was and how people, who even in an office setting, can be warm and funny, were now formal and stuffy. As we filed into the dining room, and I saw the mic stand in the middle of the dance floor, awaiting a certain temp to pick up her guitar and sing to a room of people who were not exactly looking like they were partying, I thought, I JUST MIGHT BE SCREWED.

And you know, for about five or six minutes, it was like that. I was face to face with the table that had the President and his wife, and VPs, and they looked bored and only vaguely curious. I made some jokes, and they ruffled through a couple of the tables, but then sunk in some black hole. I kept thinking, I know these people, and DON'T THEY KNOW ME?

Then the best thing happened. The "office" part of the entertainment happened. My co-worker Jose, and I had come up with a couple of songs based on life at the office. Can I tell you that the one thing that these things always seem to miss are INSIDE JOKES? I feel that the very CORE of office life are inside jokes. This is the thing that I always MISS in the speeches that are made and in the floor show at office events. Things that make people recognize themselves, LAUGH at themselves, and say YES THAT IS SO TRUE.

It was the golden key that unlocked the gates. People LAUGHED. OUT LOUD. They cheered when they heard their names or references to events and activities that happen. It was a relief. I suddenly felt as if we were ALL IN ON SOMETHING. And isn't that what holiday parties are truly about--to say, hey, we work hard, and we're in this together.

Then later, I danced to "Celebrate" and yes, "We Are Family" and everybody clapped and laughed and looked good.

PS the president gave me a hug when I got off stage.