An Old Friend Who Is Better From Time and Distance
Graham got up at 5:30 this morning to go teach his first classes of the semester (Yay, professor!). I haven't been sleeping a ton lately--I've just felt SO AWAKE--that I ended up getting up with him. Usually, it's a slow morning with drinking coffee, three pages in my journal, and npr, but I had so much time on my hands that I decided to write three pages in my journal, take a picture for the cup of the day flickr group, make my lunch and take a picture of that for the Mr. Bento flickr group, play with my cat Kingsley (who Graham and I have decided looks like Will Ferrel), finish reading the novel I was reading, and then leave early and walk 35 blocks to work.
Writing this down, I am wondering if I am a little nuts. Wait, don't answer that...
People razz me (a.k.a. give me shit) about all the gushing I do about Graham here. It's true, I am a little smitten with the man (I sometime stalk him when we are at home), but here's something that not many people get: I also LIKE (a.k.a need) BEING ALONE. Sometimes the alone time happens and I don't think about it, because it happens naturally, and sometimes I consciously go out on my own.
A couple of months ago, I went to Boston to do a marathon traveling endeavor to record some new songs in Newburyport. Graham, being both a professor and a graduate student, could not go. At first, it took all my strength to leave, because I was already missing him and my cats. Then, when I got on the bus, I suddenly felt GIDDY. When was the last time I just stared out on the road and listened to music all by myself? Before Graham (B.G.) I used to do this ALL THE TIME. I didn't think about it. Now, this kind of being alone greeted me like an old friend who is better from time and distance.
It turned out to be a very important trip for me. Road trips are essential in my life. Period. Turns out, I really need to take the occasional road trip on my own. There was room to dream, to think, to do all the things that traveling--even to a place just 4 hours a way--can create for you.
On Monday, I took a day all to myself and went for a long walk, and treated myself to a cup of tea at my favorite place to write, The Algonquin. Then I went to the bookstore. I came home happy. This morning it was like that too--although not as conscious. It was of the natural, surprise variety. It's good to go for a walk in the morning, and feel at home in the world.
posted by Summer Pierre at
11:08 AM
3 Comments:
As much as I love my mate and love being in the same room with him, two of my highlights from '06 were my solo road trips (one to Portland and one to Vegas). I hadn't done that in YEARS...and it helped me re-ignite long-dormant slices of my self.
And meant to add that I love the "cup of the day" pool!
Hi, just wondering: Do you find that your partner is with you all the time in spirit, even when not physically present? And so, isn't being alone when "coupled" a different phenomena than being alone when single? I find the two experiences to be wildly disparate. It seems that having a partner FREES me to feel more balanced about spending hours and hours alone -- even meditating (something I've done off and on for years) is easier now that i am re-coupled. If this sounds pathetically dependent to you, that may be because I was in a relationship from ages 18-28, and so never really became a Single Adult until that relationship broke up. (I am now married. And by the way -- speaking of wedding planning, try leaving all the family completely out of it and tying the knot at City Hall with about 7 friends!) -- Peace, MP
Post a Comment
<< Home