Virgo plans wedding

Well, it finally happened, folks. Last night out of a deep sleep, I awoke to my first wedding related anxiety attack. I lay there with my mind churning out excel spreadsheets and things to be done, and images of certain parental units becoming ever more larger and taking over the whole event. New ideas for music for the ceremony scrolled before my eyes sending bolts of excited thoughts into teeth grinding tension. I saw great lines of my dearest friends walking around destitute without a single place to stay. The question of 'Did I type up the directions correctly?' came by just for kicks. This was followed by "Why haven't I gotten RSVPs from TEN members of my family?" It was QUITE A SHOW. I tried deep breaths, I tried relaxation techniques like tightening up my body and releasing it. I tried meditation, but I was more JACKED UP than if I had drank eight cups of French Roast.

Ho, boy. Graham said this morning, "You were up last night. You okay?" I said, "Can't talk, need to update Excel spreadsheet." I whipped up the lap top, with groggy sleep still clinging to me, and began updating the guest list and the to-do list. I have never in my life related to my astrological sign, VIRGO, as much as I have in this moment. Anal isn't a word for it, OBSESSED may be close.

Everything was groovy until the RSVPs started rolling in (or not rolling in) and until, (dare I say it?) a family member has started to show signs of wedding control freak disease, to which I say, STEP ASIDE. There's only room for ONE control freak in this parade, and it's the one with an excel spreadsheet illuminating her face at the crack of dawn.

Man, I need a honeymoon before the honeymoon. I need a lobotomy. I think I just might be getting married in just over 2 weeks. I think I am due.