The Aimless Bummer
Lynda Barry has a very wise and funny friend named Julie Wilson. Once, when Julie called up and asked Lynda how she was doing, Lynda was having a bad day of depression with no real specific reason. Upon hearing this, Julie said (in a thick Brooklyn accent) "Oh, yeah, the Aimless Bummer."
I have been having an Aimless Bummer for over a month now. It's driving me a little crazy. I'll work on it--do exercise, yoga, draw, write, call people, write people, try new things, try things that I like to do, and maybe it will pass for a day or two and then I wake up and I am SUNK again.
Last night I had a good night. I finally figured out how to transfer my info from my old mac to the new one and as a result, I re-discovered my music collections and had a BLAST uploading and listening to music. I was HAPPY. I couldn't remember the last time I just spent an evening listening to music and making mixes. Then I went to bed and the aimless bummer crept into my chest and I couldn't sleep feeling morose and lost and totally BUMMED and AIMLESS.
I can't figure it out. Maybe I am going through a change of some sort and I just need to see what's on the other side. Maybe it's post wedding bummer. Maybe it's a chemical imbalance. Maybe I need to get over my bad self. But there it is. There it is until it isn't.
Links that help lift the bummer:
A Frida Kahlo dollhouse (link from Mackville)
A place to get the socks of your dreams!
Ariel always helps lift the bummer, but these posts in particular.
A Blog of Smells.
Going to see a play always helps.
From my friend Kathryn, a link that is hard to explain, but SO charming!
And Jeffrey's new book. SO after MY OWN heart.
I have been having an Aimless Bummer for over a month now. It's driving me a little crazy. I'll work on it--do exercise, yoga, draw, write, call people, write people, try new things, try things that I like to do, and maybe it will pass for a day or two and then I wake up and I am SUNK again.
Last night I had a good night. I finally figured out how to transfer my info from my old mac to the new one and as a result, I re-discovered my music collections and had a BLAST uploading and listening to music. I was HAPPY. I couldn't remember the last time I just spent an evening listening to music and making mixes. Then I went to bed and the aimless bummer crept into my chest and I couldn't sleep feeling morose and lost and totally BUMMED and AIMLESS.
I can't figure it out. Maybe I am going through a change of some sort and I just need to see what's on the other side. Maybe it's post wedding bummer. Maybe it's a chemical imbalance. Maybe I need to get over my bad self. But there it is. There it is until it isn't.
Links that help lift the bummer:
A Frida Kahlo dollhouse (link from Mackville)
A place to get the socks of your dreams!
Ariel always helps lift the bummer, but these posts in particular.
A Blog of Smells.
Going to see a play always helps.
From my friend Kathryn, a link that is hard to explain, but SO charming!
And Jeffrey's new book. SO after MY OWN heart.
posted by Summer Pierre at
9:51 AM
5 Comments:
hey hey sunshine ~
don't know the answer... but just wanted to offer to sit with you in it...
when's your birthing day by the way? i'm interested in where you are in your year~cycle.
i'm in my transformation period leading up to my birthing day... always a sure fire aimless bummereeno ;)
blessings of joy to you ~ bubbling up in aimless moments
and thank you for these luscious links!
lEONIE
Wow! What a fantastic way to put it! Aimless Bummer. And, as sad as it may be, I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling it.
Honestly, I think it's the change into autumn. It's a beautiful time of year but it's also the time of year when things start "going to bed" to put it nicely, until Spring. It seems one of two feelings occur, or maybe it's the same feeling... You either feel bummed... or you feel like something exciting should be happening. But then, that something exciting can't have a finger placed on it, so it feels as though something isn't getting accomplished. Maybe it's because the end of year is coming up and you still haven't felt like you accomplished everything you wanted to. (Even though getting married is a HUGE accomplishment and should be enough!)
Anyway, what I try to do is not think about the year ending and I'm still behind, but rather, go over your accomplishments of the year. And if that's not enough to brighten you up, imagine seeing the world from a young kids point of view. It's silly, and you know things that you didn't know as a kid, but put yourself in that state anyway. Look at things with fresh eyes. Look at the colors around you, and living in NY, you have plenty of colors! ;)
Hope that helps... at least for a moment or two. :)
-Amanda
Thanks, ladies. Leonie, my birthday is August 26. Any clues?
My friend Adrienne last night said. "Maybe it's just the come down from everything changing all at once: your relationship, your job, and creative work."
I think maybe that's it. In the span of literally 6 weeks almost everything except where I live changed dramatically. Life is pretty good, that's why this feels so strange. I usually love the fall--it's my favorite time of year, but it's been a funky fall.
I know it will pass--it's just a DRAG. Anyway, I didn't mean to sound like a pity party, but there it is.
Late to the party, but I totally know what you mean about the aimless bummer. Sometimes I know why I'm bummed; other times... the not understanding adds to the despair. So frustrating.
Expect an e-mail from me shortly re: your Artist in the Office 'zine. :-)
ah, so that's what it's called...i've been in a similar funk myself the last few months... trying something new and feeling over it, only to hit a wall again. eventually something clicks though and you're on your way again. good luck! thanks for the inspiring links.
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