Take a Trip Down Mackville Road

I met my friend Diane in college in that little rickety town called Plainfield, Vermont. I don't remember having any classes with her (or "group studies" as they called them), but I do remember being very intimidated by her presence. She was one of THOSE students, who was COOL and FEMINIST and seemed to have A LOT figured out. She lived in a dorm with a REAL kitchen and hung a banner outside her window that said GODDARD WOMYN TAKE BACK THE NIGHT. To someone who was grappling with such baffling equations like "can you be a feminist and still like Madonna?" Diane's banner made me QUAKE in my Doc Martin's.

Later on, when I actually TALKED to her, I discovered that she really was THAT COOL, but in a realer and better way than I had thought. For one thing, she could write and she let me read her writing. She also had a great laugh and a dry sense of humor that always helps. Not only that, but the woman bakes a mean pumpkin pie. As far as I am concerned, humor and pie are the world's currency.

Diane is funny and creative and totally lives a life that is the polar opposite of me in beautiful, green Vermont. Her partner Lucian is a blacksmith and plays the fiddle. She makes beautiful children's clothes, unschools her kids, and lives a very community oriented life. I sometimes wonder what the hell I am doing in Brooklyn when I visit them. Graham and I always feel nourished when we visit Diane and her family.

I told her once that she has the life that screams CRAFTY BLOG, and now you can see for yourself. She sews and bakes and raises kids and from this side of things, I STILL think she has a some things figured out. I am SO GLAD she decided to join the fold of bloggers. Go see for yourself!

If Frida Kahlo had Photobooth

On Saturday, I listened to this AMAZING interview with Stuart Brown, founder and head of the National Institute for Play, on the importance of play in the development of humans and in daily life. I found it moving and inspiring. Dr. Brown said that if he doesn't get at least 3 hours of play--that is something that he enjoys and loses time in--by dinnertime he is not doing so well. I thought, what a GREAT philosophy--and it's something that I have already been researching in my ideas about creativity and the workplace. In any case, I've been feeling A LOT of pressure lately on various projects and Dr. Brown's interview reminded me that I need to play.

So, for no reason, other than fun I dressed up like Frida Kahlo and used photo booth. It was literally just what the doctor ordered.

One of the great surprise gifts I got as a wedding present from a group of my oldest friends was a new computer. This was a direct act of synchronicity, because I had not shared with anyone other than Graham that I was DESPERATE for a new computer. My ibook dates back to before the Millennium, and literally has keys missing. The week before we left for California, I had taken to using a large RUBBER BAND to keep the disc drive closed. Add to this that it was supporting a system that it was not designed to support, creating an unstable (at best) system that would, shall we say, HICCUP daily. In a moment of pre-wedding/financial freak-out, I sat on the bed and decried how I had NO WAY of affording something that has become increasingly necessary as a functioning computer. Graham had to listen to me and try not to behead me, while he knew that behind the scenes my friends were plotting and scheming. They had called him and asked if it might be a useful gift. He had answered something along the lines of, "How can I express this clearly: DO IT NOW!"

On the card they said they hoped it would encourage more creativity. Somehow I don't think they knew what they were getting themselves into. AH, I am only BEGINNING to scratch the surface!

Is There a Squirrelogist in the House?

Now that I've updated you on the gory details of wedding excitement and honeymoon relaxation, I can now get on to MORE PRESSING matters. Like the fact that a certain squirrel moved into our tree a week before we left and proceeded to fixate on our window and fire escape, tormenting the cats, peeing into the window, and trying to build a nest under the towel we left out to dry.

I call him Jojo.

Jojo originally showed up with his partner Loretta, but I fear that Loretta also couldn't stand Jojo's antics or that she went with one of the stray cats in the yard for a smoke and never came back. The first thing that I noticed about Jojo, beyond that fact that he was on our fire escape, was that his tail had been recently bitten partially off. He seemed a little erratic, but wouldn't you be if you had only 3/4 of a tail left?

The next time I saw Jojo, he was spread eagle on our window screen, making a sort of muttering noise at our cat Kingsley who seemed baffled as to what to do when the STALKED starts STALKING BACK. It became a dance of cat and squirrel. I could have sworn I heard Jojo muttering to Kingsley, "Oh, yeah? Wise guy, eh? Think you're a big tom cat, eh?"

He came back every day to repeat the performance. When I came home, Graham said, "I think that squirrel peed through the screen." I didn't believe it until I SAW HIM do it the next day. I immediately got some water to flick from my fingers at him, but he shook it off and proceeded to climb the screen, trying to chew through it. Both cats just watched him, their ears turning in a sort of radar to somehow catch and decipher the code.

Before we left, we forgot to take in the towel that we had left to dry on our windowsill and when we got back from our trip, Jojo had made himself a nice little squirrel condo. He apparently didn't want to be FAR from where he could reach us. We had to kick him out of his condo. The towel wasn't going keep him warm during the winter anyway and he was adorably trying to chew a hole into our apartment.

I still see Jojo every day in the tree, but due to recent construction he has yet to pay another visit on our screen. I wish I could understand his ways, but alas, I'm no squirrelogist. Wish I was.

The Honeymooners

Our friends Ming and Bob own a condo in a schmancy fancy Lodge at Whitefish Lake and they are of the sort of people who generously live so that other may live generously. Not only did Ming give us a wedding cake from my favorite bakery in Palo Alto, but they provided this incredible place for us to stay in Whitefish, Montana AND she rented a car for us shoestring living newlyweds. As a result, we had a GLORIOUSLY relaxing honeymoon in a setting that I don't think I ever imagined myself staying in.

Like I said before, I CANNOT recommend honeymoons enough. I was having serious anxiety attacks before the wedding and often my body doesn't know when to QUIT when it comes to anxiety. It took a couple of days after the wedding to turn the MOTOR off. I can't think of a kinder thing to do after a wedding than to take some time for yourselves to just DECOMPRESS and get back to yourself. As it turns out, a peaceful place like a lakeside lodge was just what the doctor ordered.

While in Montana, we did LOTS of exciting things:


We also SAW SO MUCH:



Actually, eventually we DID do exciting things like explore the Town of Whitefish, which has one of the FINEST town museums I've ever been to. Whitefish also may have won my heart, when I we went back to the car and saw this in the street beside it:



There was another one with the words TUBE STEAK written in even prettier penmanship. Apparently, somebody's advertisement had been scattered to the streets.

Upon further investigation, it turns out the Montana is well, BEAUTIFUL. We also explored the exciting majesty of Glacier National Park. I can tell you that New York has MANY things, but it doesn't have this:



I think somewhere a developer is seeing this and having PALPITATIONS. To which, I say: HANDS OFF!

We also got to taste yummy drinks like the Lodge's own drink it calls "The Woo Woo." You feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor when you order it, but then you taste it and you can't help declaring WOOOO! because the sugar is making your teeth turn to liquid.



It was either ordering that or a Huckleberry Daiquiri, and well, after you've had a Woo Woo you kind of get AFRAID of trying any other sweet "signature" drinks.

Things we didn't take pictures of, but wish I had: the plate of sticky bbq ribs that I ordered TWICE while I was there, the nice guy who I talked to at the Whitefish Museum, who had married his wife at the church in town 50 years ago, and the pair of mountain goats we saw in Glacier National Park. It was a mama and a baby and it was mouth watering adorable to see them cross a road, but you can't capture EVERYTHING you experience and feel all the time. Except maybe when you're happy and relaxed:

Yep, at least there's that.

Happy Certainty

I am FINALLY getting some larger images--thanks to my gifted and glorious friend Kai (pictured above with glasses and groom). Kai was our "official" photographer and we are awaiting the film to be developed, but in the meantime she sent me a link to her digital set. It has left me SWOONING!

In the set you can also see a few images from Graham's bachelor party, which took on some EPIC proportions. Graham left me saying, "I hope no one wants to get totally drunk." Well, I won't embarrass him totally here by divulging CERTAIN EVENTS, but I will say: oh how the TIDE TURNS. My favorite picture of the evening is this one:

Part of the night was writing on Graham with a Sharpie. Kai wrote the word "Bachelor" on Graham's fingers. How BAD ASS is that?

I also really like this picture from the wedding. I am saying "ABSOLUTELY!" in answer to Paul's question of whether or not I take Graham. I love that I now have an example of what HAPPY CERTAINTY looks like on my face. Not bad, I tell you. Not bad!

The Wedding Down Load

photo by Sara Braun

I think long engagements are dumb. I'm not kidding. We were engaged just over a year before we got married, and as we approached the wedding date this thought came to me over and over. There are ENOUGH expectations and loaded feelings enough as it is--why give them a YEAR of time to FESTER and COOK? I would say to anyone who is engaged right now (and there are a couple of you out there) GET MARRIED NOW. As soon as you get engaged, send out a SAVE THE DATE card and then get to work. You will STILL have loaded feelings and expectations and a looming sense of anticipation, BUT it will be a SHORTER time period to bear these things.

Of course, the other thing I would say is that no matter how much advice, warnings, pep talks from experienced people, NONE OF IT really PREPARES you for your own experience of it all. My mind was ready. The feelings thought they knew what was coming. They didn't. It was A LOT and A LOT MORE VARIED than I anticipated.

I didn't know how much childhood crap would come up for me personally or how daunted I would get by all the constant attention (this one was SHOCKING to me). I also didn't know how the actual event would be SO NORMAL and REAL LIFE-LIKE. Somehow in the planning stages everything takes on EPIC PROPORTIONS, but then when it happens it's well, YOU. I was so nervous walking up the isle with my dad, but then I heard the song I chose, which was Cat Steven's "If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out" and everybody stood up and CHEERED and Graham did a punk rock salute, with his finger in the air, and I laughed and cheered too. I suddenly GOT IT. These are OUR PEOPLE and it's ME and GRAHAM and how FRIGGN' GREAT IS THAT?

The cermony was done by our good friend Paul, who we just adore and who did a fantastic job, even bringing the house down with such corny jokes as in "Now Summer finally has snagged her Grahammy." (Get it? I'm a musician and he's a grammy.) We got to say our own vows and Graham KILLED me with his and everybody was BAWLING and I was trying really hard not to go into the UGLY CRY. Then Paul prounounced us "Mr. & Mrs. Graham & Summer." Which totally sums it all up.

There were a lot of crazy things that went wrong in the days leading up to it, like the county clerk calling us and saying "I made a mistake on your wedding license!" and a phone call from my dear friend Ming in Montana, who was responsible for the cake and couldn't make it because her husband had become very very ill. Oh, and then there was my mom. My mom who was mad at everybody, especially me, and who was threatening to pass out Groucho Marx glasses at the ceremony, whether I wanted her to or not. But all these things were taken care of. We got a new marriage license. The cake arrived and was set up (beautifully, I might add), and my mom passed out the Groucho Marx glasses at the reception, and by that time, I didn't care and it was funny to see everybody playing kazoos and wearing the glasses. (can you see why I am BEGGING for pictures?).

At big life events, shit happens, but so does grace. I've seen it time and time again and I saw it at my own wedding.

One of my favorite moments: I wore a gardenia in my hair for my grandmother, because she had a HUGE gardenia bush and it was her favorite flower and the smell reminds me so much of my childhood summers at my grandparents house. When my cousin Jessica surprised me by showing up I was OVERJOYED. I hadn't seen her in ten years and it meant so much to me that she had come. When she pulled me aside and said, "I saw that gardenia and I knew exactly what that represented." and she showed me the tattoo she had of a gardenia, I just started BAWLING and that was a moment I will never forget.

Or our friends Richard and Paul surprising us at the end of the toasts by singing their own rendition of "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" by the Beatles, and the entire room singing the chorus.

And just the love. Seeing so many friends and family from all over the place (both historically and geographically) joined in one happy crowd with flowers and markers and Groucho Marx glasses and kazoos and mugs. It was insane and so so so great. I've never felt so crazy, so happy, so sad, so loved, so known as I did that day. I am still reeling from it.

Slowly slowly slowly

Getting the bouquets together. Photo by Doo-Dee.

Hey gang! We are (unbelievably) back from our crazy hijinks in Weddingland and Honeymoon land. I know a number of you out there who have not taken a honeymoon yet, and all I want to say is DO IT NOW. I found it necessary to decompress and slowly the memories are coming back from the HAZIEST and CRAZIEST weekend of my life.

If you are reading this and you took pictures at the wedding--can I please BEG of you--to send them to me? My awesome mom-in-law sent me a batch, but the resolution is so meager that they enlarge to the size of a postage stamp. It's such a TEASE!

In any case, there is SO MUCH TO TELL. Stories of tears and laughter and tattoos and crazy mugs and even crazier moms. I'll be posting this week all the GORY details. I am sure any guys that I had left in my readership will HEAD FOR THE HILLS at all the wedding talk--but man, with this much material, I am like a GEYSER waiting to BLOW.

Thank you all for your good wishes and congrats. I feel very happy and so far, married life kinda rules.

We Did It

photo courtesy of le Meglit

It was unbelievable. As you can see, it was dern BRIGHT. Today we are both pudding filled cakes--squishy and fragile. MARRIED. HOLYCRAP. So much to say and feel about the day and the reality of it all, but it will all have to wait. Tomorrow we leave for our honeymoon in the big sky country. More when I return--I promise!