Label Your Life

Kicking the Habit

I don't know if you've noticed, but I've temporarily turned off comments because I am trying out an experiment to see what it feels like to detach from the need to be liked and noticed. As anyone knows who has a blog, comments can be OBSESSIVE. Don't even get me started on the visit counters you can download! They might as well call them "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Instigators." or "Manic Depressive Clickers." I finally kicked the habit over a year ago, and my self-esteem rose to normal levels once again.

That being said, the blog feels quieter, more one sided. I'm not sure I like it yet--it's kind of like taking a break from a friend who is wild and fun, but takes a lot of your energy away. I kind of wish everybody would try it--kind of like "De-Lurking day" except it would be "De-Comment" day. See how it feels to you!

I wrote to a friend recently, that the older I get, the more I like the quiet and the essentials. Well, why not try it here? It's good to break the habit once in awhile, just to see what remains.

Mail Your Blog

This

I sometimes wish my life looked like this, when it actually looks like this.
I cannot, and I mean, I CANNOT wait to get this.
I found listening to this totally inspiring.

I want to go see this tomorrow, but I'll probably be working on the new edition of this.

I also am planning something like this (thank you to this girl).

Everytime I feel dried up, I just go visit this guy's site.

Occasionally my stepdad gets totally smitten with a certain termanology and needs to apply it to as many situations as possible. His most recent one is this. I am totally not kidding. Don't ask me how or why. Maybe I should send him this.

I hope you have a good version of this.

Written On the Wall

When Life Gets You Down...

There's always taking pictures of your cats with photo booth.

Get My Mojo Working

In the words of James brown, Good GAWD Y'ALL! Thank you folks for giving me such SUPPORT on such a WHINEY blog entry!

I am actually feeling much better today. Serendipity nearly grabbed me by the roots of my hair last night. Among several things that happened, I found my original in a Kinko's recycling bin in perfect condition. Aftr mailing off my book proposal (MY FIRST!), I felt this huge weight lifted. I think the pressure (a.k.a FEAR) of that was really sucking me dry. After I mailed it, I was walking back to the subway thinking about the author Erica Jong, as I had been off an on all day for various reasons, when I SAW Erica Jong crossing the street in the opposite direction. I tried desperately not to stare. Actually, I was debating whether or not to stop her, but I totally chickened out. We passed in silence, but inside my head I was WHOOPING.

You gotta love mojo.

Then my husband took me out to dinner to celebrate. It ruled.

Today the air is so crisp and clean. I'm giving myself a day off tomorrow to refill my well. Today I am going art supply shopping with a gift certificate--hooray for gifted art supplies! Hooray for supportive comments! Hooray for Erica Jong! Hooray for YOU!

Road Tripping

I think anything that matters can be like a crazy road trip, where there are times it is exciting and times you are so BORED out of your mind, you'd stop at a Mac Donald's just to see something other than the road. Then there are the times you doubt everything. I've gone through all three today and it's just after noon.

I am working on a book and it's been like a marathon of drawing, writing, re-drawing, re-writing, typing, editing, peppered in with total tantrums of despair and moments of "Hey, I can DO this." Oh yeah, and trips to Kinko's. My dream is to one day have everything that Kinko's has so I NEVER HAVE TO GO THERE AGAIN. This may be an initially expensive dream, but after the time, aggravation, and MONEY I spent there last night, I have come to believe that this is a PRICELESS dream. Also, I just discovered that I left one of my originals at Kinko's last night.

I can't even talk about that right now.

It's been like that, though. Three steps forward, two steps back. Today I discovered a similar book to mine is coming out this fall.

I can't even talk about THAT right now.

Sometimes I feel like the world is built to tell me I am not original, a genius, or anything of the like. All the good ideas ARE taken. I'll never be cool--but so, what? I guess I should do the work anyway, right? I guess I should call Kinko's, I guess I should see there is a market for what I am doing. I guess I should continue to drive on, watching this all like fascinating scenery, as I make my way.

365 Considered

One of my favorite on-line projects is Bill Waldman's 365 Portraits. H's trying to do a photograph for every day of the year. His project partially inspired my "Hi, My name is" project. That's why I feel particularly PROUD that my friends Adrienne & Jose both sent in their "Hi, my name is" photo to be considered in Waldman's project--and it worked!

Look at how AMAZING Jose and Adrienne look!

The Sweetest Cake

Last weekend we decided we hadn't spent enough money and we'd been home way too long and hadn't seen California in at least two weeks, so we flew back for 36 hours to celebrate our friends Jenn and Steve's wedding. I am SO GLAD we did--not only becuase we love the Jenn and the Steve, but because I got to see some of our friends again whom we've been DEARLY missing. One thing a wedding across country does for you: It makes you realize how much you LOVE everybody, and how DUMB you feel living 3000 miles away.

Another reason was that I witnessed not only the most original and touching vows I'd ever heard (and that's HARD, people), but also probably my favorite toast EVER. As part of his vows, Steve surprised Jenn and everyone be playing a collection of voicemails Jenn had left him over the last four years. They ranged from hilarious singing of "I just called to say I love you" to an apology for her "behavior" the night before. It was hilarious and touching and moving--especially when he said that the first one was from 4 years ago, and the last one was from two weeks ago.

Usually, I am not very fond of toasts, unless they are given by particulary gifted people. Actually, when I say "gifted" I mean, "aware of everybody's TIME." Do not trust the one who says, "I am going to keep this short." Especially when they follow that sentence with, "I remember when she was born..." It's going to be a LONG night, folks when those words are uttered. We're talking LIFETIME. No wedding has escaped these toasts, and Jenn & Steve's was no acception. However, Steve's sister somehow made it all worth it. She got up and told the story of how she had been adopted at age 3, and Steve at 5 or 6 had welcomed her into the family with a cake he made that said WELCOME JESSICA written on it. She brought the photograph of thsi moment to show everyone. Everybody collectively AWWWWed at this point. Then, Steve's sister said, "So Jenn, I know you have a wedding cake, but I made you a cake." And she presented Jenn with a small cake that said WELCOME JENN on it. I don't think there was a DRY EYE in the house! There isn't a dry eye here as write this to you thinking about it.

There are many reasons to not have weddings, but the cake reminded me so much of why we do it. It's a party for our history to meet our future, and why not celebrate that and have little cake?

It's Coming

Oh, fall--I feel it today. It's about 75 degrees outside, but the air has that QUALITY, you know? I look forward to the fall like I look forward to my birthday, to seeing people I love, to holidays, to starting over, to a fresh sheet of paper, to the feeling of writing with a newly sharpened pencil. I have a good feeling when I think of fall. It's like a light turning itself on. Yep, you read that right--I feel like E.T. when I think of fall.

These are the things I want to do this fall:

I want to make these.
And read this again.
And bake that.
And walk here.
And write there.
And see this.
And draw here.
And visit her.
And drink coffee with him.
And maybe, just maybe, go see them.

Yep, it's a good time. I don't think I am the only one ready. Are you?

Trying

Frances Farmer, tragic heroine of the silver screen.

This morning I woke up filled with energy. It's been awhile, folks. The wedding took A LOT, and the fall-out has ranged from sleepiness, to depression, to desperate homesickness for California, to out and out BURN OUT. We also just got back from going BACK to California for 36 hours for another wedding, which started the whole cycle again. The thing is, I didn't really have TIME for all this, but I took it anyway. Sometimes that's just the way it is. It can also be really HARD to even WANT to get back on that horse, but eventually all you can do is try. Trying has magic in it, I think.

I met with my newly (and still forming) writing group last night. I was resisting it, but knew that it was a situation that if I didn't put in the effort (or at least TRY) it would dissolve. So I went, and afterwards I had so much energy that I was actually EXCITED to get up this morning.

There is A LOT happening. As you may have noticed, my blog has yet to return to its full breathing capacity, but here's only a PARTIAL list of things I have going, that I need to accomplish in the next 4 weeks:

• 50 Thank You cards.
• Create & publish my annual Great Gals Calendar (26 pages of illustration and information!).
• Finish two chapters of a new book I am working on (with illustrations and words).
• 2 illustration gigs.
• Prepping for the next writing group.
• Working on a TOP SECRET long term project with my friend Jose.

Can you see why I might be a little LAGGING on the blog entries?

The above illustration is Miss September from my 2007 Great Gals Calendar. It's appearing currently in Skirt! Magazine, along with another illustration of mine on every day acts of power and daring! The only powerful and daring thing I can think of today is to GET UP AND TRY. Somehow, it has to be enough. Somehow, it is.