Family Time

I think the Pacific Northwest may be the California I always wanted. Although I will always have a deep familial love for my Bay Area roots and the Oak trees and the golden hills and all that, I always wished it was more green and had some a wilder texture. I think that's why the second I could, I headed out East. I wanted seasons (or more than just two). I wanted greenery. The first thing I noticed about Vancouver Island when I went there 18 months ago was that it still had the QUALITY of air of California, the Pacific Ocean, the nice people, but it had a green, wild landscape that was BREATHTAKING. Oh, yeah and the Bald Eagles. There were Bald Eagles just AROUND.

My parental units Pam and Gary moved to Vancouver Island 3 years ago from the Santa Cruz Mountains. I thought I'd never love a home as much as the home they created in Santa Cruz mountains, so when they moved I felt I had lost my real sense of a family home. Like so many things I hold dear, I was blind to the gifts of things changing and how some things, the real deep down stuff, no matter what, stays the same. It was Pam and Gary that made me feel a sense of home, not the structure of their house. So now Vancouver Island feels weirdly homey to me. I love its beauty and I love the British influence of the culture. It's like California meets Europe, which is so enticing to me. Their postal carriers drive in the coolest little red vans that made me want to steal it and drive it across country. Then there are Nanaimo bars--the BEST dessert bar on the planet.

I hate that it's so far away and I sometimes have wild fantasies of moving to that area--if not the Island then at least the Pacific Northwest. Then again, I also have wild fantasies of moving lots of places like back to the Bay Area or Vermont. Still, the pull is great to be near the ones you love. At the same time, I also need to admit that there is lots about seeing people 24/7 that makes visiting a mixture of joy and exhaustion. I am someone who needs equal dosage of togetherness and aloneness or else I go a little batty. There were times I was so happy I could burst and other times I felt like a huffy, insane teenager. Such is the nature of FAMILY TIME.

Coming back was a bit tough at first--I always forget how there is this adjusting period to returning to the more solitary life that I lead and to the rhythm of REGULAR LIFE. Then, when it happens, there is also a sense of RELIEF. The New Year is such a hopeful time, and I feel very hopeful. There is a lot I want to do and creative and live in the next 12 months.