The Adolescence of Toddlerhood

This month my blog turns a whopping THREE. Drinking age in Dog and Cat years. In Human years it would be, what a parent friend once described to me as, "the adolescence of toddlerhood." This last description came to me after I complained that my three year old brother had suddenly seemed to become a seventh grade girl--openly divisive in his love and affection and having a certain glee at making you feel bad. Apparently, this is not only totally natural, but to be expected. "You think two is bad," my friend said, "But it ain't got nothing on THREE."

I was trying to think of some exciting thing to say about the experience of blogging, but I think I already said it in January. So for my own narcissistic enjoyment, today I was skimming in my ye olde blog archives, looking at where it all began, trying to conjure up WHO I was WAY BACK THEN. It's weird to have an archive and to see the progression of the last few years. I mean, I already knew that I tend to THINK TOO MUCH--but what a strange testimonial the blog is to that very fact. I was surprised to see that I began it just after I had made the decision to move to New York from California to be with Graham. It also marks the three year anniversary of some friendships and the three year anniversary of last hearing from some friends. It definitely was a time of transition when I began this blog and I see, despite my ever present worry and doubt, I was ready for the changes that were coming.

Spring is always a good time to make plans, change cities or jobs, start something new, wash windows, and/or to get some new t-shirts. In a way, a blog is all those things--a new focus, a new activity, a new thing to try on, and a new view. What a cool three years it has been. And as far as my teenage toddler of a blog--two was really really good, but since I am still doubtful and still worried over the course of my life, what a pain in the ass I remain--to myself.