Keep Calm and Carry On

Alrighty, I am so sorry for the long absence. There are two good reasons. Number one, I came back from our Europe trip sick as can be because (first, the good news): I am knocked up. I know what you're thinking: That is SO TRENDY BLOGGER OF YOU. Well, I missed out on the whole Keep Calm and Carry On poster craze of last year, so I figure I'd bring out the big guns. The baby guns. The truth is, I've had at times debilitating morning (or as I like to call it 24/7) sickness and fatigue. I have basically been in bed for the last month, exhausted and so sensitive to smells, sights, you name it. For example, I never realized how many blogs are food centric until I couldn't stand the sight of food. I've barely been able to be on line at all (maybe a good thing). I also still have this weird nausea association with our trip--pictures, items, smells, even stories from our trip to Paris and the Hague make me gag. The sight of a glass we bought in Paris can make me wretch. It's totally weird. Even right now, typing those words, makes me feel a little GULPY. So you can imagine the WILL OF STEEL it took to even post the last few posts about Paris.

Number two (the bad news) is that when I came back from our trip my job also blew up. I cannot go into details here, because things are still working themselves out, but along with being newly pregnant and feeling sick I have been so anxious and terrified I am surprised my hair has not turned white. My job provides our health insurance and my half of our very frugal life, and with a kid on the way, you can understand the mathematics of the situation. I feel like I am going through faith boot camp, trying to somehow believe that there is SOME message, SOME rhyme to reason for this very strangely timed and intense predicament. For now I still have a job, but I don't know if it will last and I am still waiting to find out.

So those are the reasons I have been gone. If you have returned at all, I THANK YOU. I plan to be around here much more from now on. I have missed you. It's true. One of the things that anxiety can perpetuate is a deep sense of isolation. Add to this a month of being glued to the bed and you basically have a PERFECT STORM of isolation. Just typing in here, I feel so much better. (Maybe it's not too late to get that Keep Calm and Carry On poster after all. Maybe I need it now.)

There is a lot I want to share with you (and will), but for now I just thought I'd give you the big ol' explanation and say I AM BACK. I hope you all are well.