Why I Believe In Miracles
My hard drive kicked the bucket on Friday. One moment we were holding hands enjoying the wonder of the New Yorker fiction podcast, another moment she froze and then wouldn't talk to me anymore. After a few tries, it went from the silent treatment to all out amnesia. An image of a file with a blinking question mark appeared on her screen and it was over. She didn't have a hard drive anymore. And because I am like so many of you out there I had no BACK UP. So it was gone. EVERYTHING was gone.
What's funny (as in ironic and tragic) about this is that my friend Steve who was here for Graham's Birthday bash lost everything not so long ago too and he was telling us his cautionary tale of having no back up, and how we must USE HIM AS AN EXAMPLE and please oh please BACK UP everything. I listened to his story and thought, "I really ought to back up," swore I would at some point and THREE DAYS LATER was staring at my gray dead screen.
So, I am here to tell you people, USE ME AS YOUR SACRIFICIAL LAMB. Learn from my loss and BACK UP your files. Not later. NOW. Don't even read the rest of this sentence, much less the end of this blog entry (which has a cool story in it), just STOP. DROP. AND BACK UP. THEN read the rest of this story and see why I believe in miracles.
When I took my computer to the Apple specialist store, which might be the nicest and most helpful place to go in New York, and they asked, "Did you see the file with the question mark on it?" And I had to answer yes, I knew it was all gone. They were nice about it. They said that if I wanted to, I could get the data back, but it would cost $800. I was tempted to tell them my life story right there, about how I don't have the money on account of I don't have a regular job right now and a baby on the way, but I had a moment of restraint. I just said, "Do I have to make that decision now?" He said I did not. I left for dinner, ready to make peace with the fact that I'd lost everything. The good news is that I sent my finished manuscript of my book to my editors on Wednesday, and all my art is done with a pen and paper, so the BIG IMPORTANT concern of the book was at most a day of scanning. No big whoop. Then I started remembering: my photos! All my Paris and the Hague photos! Graham's birthday! The last 3 years of New York! SO MANY pictures I would NEVER see again. And then the next wave came: all my finished fiction. I write short stories and while I have earlier versions of most, I would have lost the finished versions forever, not to mention the UNFINISHED ones I began. So many other things came rolling in and it was like several blows realizing how MUCH was gone. That's when the tears started to come. Some things you just can't replace. So I said that prayer I've been saying A LOT lately: I don't know how it will happen, but I really want to get this back. I am putting it out there and am letting it go.
The next day, feeling depressed, I launched into the GREAT DECLUTTERING PROJECT OF 2009. I've been wanting to purge and get things cleaned and reorganized for my new fully freelance life and as a beginning to baby prepping, and sometimes it just makes you feel better when you feel a little lost to sort the physical life around you. So I started with the STACK of bank statements and paystubs, and insurance statements and all this stuff that I'd been pretty much sticking into a large file as is for the last 3 years. I opened every envelope and chronologically filed them. It was deep satisfying work, my Virgo self was having a field day. I went through envelope after envelope and then I opened an envelope and found...an UNCASHED PAYCHECK for $750 from a year and a half ago.
I am not kidding.
I have NO IDEA how this happened. I have been a paycheck to paycheck girl for as long as I can remember. I kept checking to make sure it was real and yep, it's REAL.
I have to tell you that this kind of thing has happened over and over again in my life, but usually in the next hour or day I am already discounting it or rationalizing it or somehow DOUBTING again. But this one is hard to shake. I am going to keep this one for awhile, I think. I ran into the living room and showed Graham and while he is not a believer and I am, I said, "You have to admit THIS IS PRETTY EXTRAORDINARY." Yes, he had to admit it was.
I am considering copying this check and framing it to remind myself: You're always okay, kid. I tell you, right now I feel like anything is possible.
And in case you ignored my warning and just kept reading: PLEASE BACK UP YOUR HARD DRIVE. NOW. Not kidding!
What's funny (as in ironic and tragic) about this is that my friend Steve who was here for Graham's Birthday bash lost everything not so long ago too and he was telling us his cautionary tale of having no back up, and how we must USE HIM AS AN EXAMPLE and please oh please BACK UP everything. I listened to his story and thought, "I really ought to back up," swore I would at some point and THREE DAYS LATER was staring at my gray dead screen.
So, I am here to tell you people, USE ME AS YOUR SACRIFICIAL LAMB. Learn from my loss and BACK UP your files. Not later. NOW. Don't even read the rest of this sentence, much less the end of this blog entry (which has a cool story in it), just STOP. DROP. AND BACK UP. THEN read the rest of this story and see why I believe in miracles.
When I took my computer to the Apple specialist store, which might be the nicest and most helpful place to go in New York, and they asked, "Did you see the file with the question mark on it?" And I had to answer yes, I knew it was all gone. They were nice about it. They said that if I wanted to, I could get the data back, but it would cost $800. I was tempted to tell them my life story right there, about how I don't have the money on account of I don't have a regular job right now and a baby on the way, but I had a moment of restraint. I just said, "Do I have to make that decision now?" He said I did not. I left for dinner, ready to make peace with the fact that I'd lost everything. The good news is that I sent my finished manuscript of my book to my editors on Wednesday, and all my art is done with a pen and paper, so the BIG IMPORTANT concern of the book was at most a day of scanning. No big whoop. Then I started remembering: my photos! All my Paris and the Hague photos! Graham's birthday! The last 3 years of New York! SO MANY pictures I would NEVER see again. And then the next wave came: all my finished fiction. I write short stories and while I have earlier versions of most, I would have lost the finished versions forever, not to mention the UNFINISHED ones I began. So many other things came rolling in and it was like several blows realizing how MUCH was gone. That's when the tears started to come. Some things you just can't replace. So I said that prayer I've been saying A LOT lately: I don't know how it will happen, but I really want to get this back. I am putting it out there and am letting it go.
The next day, feeling depressed, I launched into the GREAT DECLUTTERING PROJECT OF 2009. I've been wanting to purge and get things cleaned and reorganized for my new fully freelance life and as a beginning to baby prepping, and sometimes it just makes you feel better when you feel a little lost to sort the physical life around you. So I started with the STACK of bank statements and paystubs, and insurance statements and all this stuff that I'd been pretty much sticking into a large file as is for the last 3 years. I opened every envelope and chronologically filed them. It was deep satisfying work, my Virgo self was having a field day. I went through envelope after envelope and then I opened an envelope and found...an UNCASHED PAYCHECK for $750 from a year and a half ago.
I am not kidding.
I have NO IDEA how this happened. I have been a paycheck to paycheck girl for as long as I can remember. I kept checking to make sure it was real and yep, it's REAL.
I have to tell you that this kind of thing has happened over and over again in my life, but usually in the next hour or day I am already discounting it or rationalizing it or somehow DOUBTING again. But this one is hard to shake. I am going to keep this one for awhile, I think. I ran into the living room and showed Graham and while he is not a believer and I am, I said, "You have to admit THIS IS PRETTY EXTRAORDINARY." Yes, he had to admit it was.
I am considering copying this check and framing it to remind myself: You're always okay, kid. I tell you, right now I feel like anything is possible.
And in case you ignored my warning and just kept reading: PLEASE BACK UP YOUR HARD DRIVE. NOW. Not kidding!
posted by Summer Pierre at
4:59 PM
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